December 2011
47 posts
6 tags
Day 48
Don’t wanna jinx it, but life went well today. Got a job interview, I now own two pairs of pants, got a full tank of gas, having a good chill sesh with the brother and our animals (:
Don’t know what tomorrow brings, but today was good, gonna value it.
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5 tags
Why can’t everyone just fuck off and die?
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Day 44.
And nothing seems to ever matter anymore.
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Time to take a step back and remember why we stopped being friends in the first place, you won’t get another chance with me.
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You used to be my anchor, but don’t you know that anchors are what keep you still; don’t you know that anchors make it impossible to move, to grow? Don’t you know that anchors are only needed when out in the middle of the ocean, on uneven waters, where the ground beneath you could change at any moment? I don’t want to live in the chaos of the water anymore, I’m yearning for land, for...
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Day 41
And I can feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, and the waves are crashing down, I can’t remember the last time I had to swim, I feel as if I’m drowning.
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And you think I’m an asshole now. Well, you’re probably right. But at least I’m not blind to the facts I’ve been wishing were lies.
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Day 40
You know you weren’t ever really friends with someone when they haven’t noticed you don’t live in the state and it’s been over a month now.. Fuck everyone who said they gave a shit about me, said they were my friend. You obviously don’t care. And neither do I.
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So they pulled the plug today. You’re still breathing, please continue to do so. Please pull through. I don’t want you to go. </3
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Probably the best conversation ever
Ashley Rose Flygare
2 hours ago
“How much is an Eminem?” “About 50 cent.” “What?! Tha’s Ludacris.”
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You and 3 others like this.
Kelley Walker If you give 50 cent a little bit he’ll take you to the candy shop
about an hour ago · Like · 1
Ashley Rose Flygare I’m gonna need Proof for that
about an hour ago ·...
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Got a soul full of hate, a heart full of love, a body that feels hollow and a brain that wants to take the easy way out.
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I don’t want to accept that it’s never gonna be the same. I don’t want to accept that this may never be repaired. I don’t want to accept that we are different. I don’t want to accept that you may never come back. I don’t want to accept that I can’t change this, that I can’t fix this.
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Day 36
Woke up today, walked downstairs, and the dad and brother are getting drunk. It’s not even noon, and boy doesn’t that bring back memories. Got to spend the next 12 hours with the entire extended family; all of which are alcoholics, ex addicts or current addicts. Already woke up in a bad mood, had intense vivid dreams about tequila. Crossin my fingers I make it through today.
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Not ready to let go
When they pull the plug, they’ll be pulling something out of my heart. <3 you so much Uncle.
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My cheeks have never hurt from smiling until tonight. <3
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Day 33 clean and sober
At that point where I’m thinking about the needles in my house, grabbing them, going up the street and filling them up and sticking them in my neck; or taking the pain killers in the cabinet, or downing a half gallon like I used to in an hour. And then I think about how I was and what it’s cost me; I’m missing 80% of the cartilage in my nose, it can bend in half, I lost my...
The amount of shits I don’t give isn’t healthy right now.
Get fucked.
Or just fuck off.
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Trails and breadcrumbs
They say you can see a person’s soul in the depths of their eyes,
but my body shows my true nature,
shows so clearly what I’ve tried so hard to hide;
like bread crumbs being left behind to show me my way back,
but I can’t connect the dots, and my basket fell empty long ago.
Slashes made from a pencil sharpener raised high upon my flesh,
like speed bumps running across my arm;
are my scars trying...
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I’m running outta my mind and I’m runnin outta dreams.
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Cody. →
I miss you so much Cody, I’d do anything to bring you back to life, to me, to your mom, to your sister, to everyone. Please come back D: